Showing Love to Your Wife – 5 Unfailing Ways

For men it does not matter whether the wife tells him she loves him or not but for women the story is different, women wants to hear it from the man in her life that she is still as beloved as at the beginning. She needs to be reminded, she needs to be told, she needs to be assured. If the man does not do this for her then her confidence begins to wane. Therefore man has to find ways of saying it every day so she can be sure. I will here put forward 5 ways by which the man can assure the wife that he still loves her.

• The first way of showing love to your wife is TENDERNESS. Women are very fragile in nature and they need to be handled as so. Husbands need to tenderly talk to the wife, women do not like to be barked at, even when they do things wrong. You need to gently show her where she errs. Wives want the tender touch of their husbands. As time passes many husbands tend to forget the cuddling and holding that was in the early stage of the marriage, many women secretly desire that their husbands hold them much more, and they want it every time (but it doesn’t have to always lead to sex).

• The husband needs to sacrifice for his wife. Husbands are requested to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. Husbands are to go all out in loving their wives to the point of dying for them. There should be nothing that will be too big to surrender for the sake of the wife, whatever that may want to stand between them should be sacrificed. Showing love to your wife will not be in doubt if your action shows that you can do anything for the sake of your wife. Many wives suffer in silence and are traumatized because of the kind of work the husband is involved in and the husband does not see reason to let go of such work to please the wife and make her feel the love that he has for her. You need to defend your wife in your family, don’t let her become the topic of the family.

• Also husbands need to make allowance for the deficiencies and mistakes of the wife. Husbands sometimes think that the wife should perfect, they think on many occasions that wives should not make mistakes. You may not say it but in behavior you demand such. Women are humans and sometimes may fall short of men’s expectation so they should be given the allowance for shortcomings. Do not crucify your wife if she burns the pot of soup that she had used lots of money to prepare. As a husband who has the desire of showing love to your wife, you should joke over it if your wife puts too much salt in the rice she cooked. The wife should be excused if she sleeps off and forgets to prepare for night meal. After all women are not angels.

• Husbands will be greatly esteemed and appreciated if the view of things of the wife is allowed to be aired. Women too have great brains that need to be tapped when it comes to decision making. The husband is the leader of the family but that does not mean that the wife should not have her input considered. As a husband showing love to your wife will require that you allow her make sufficient input into any decision that is to be made, in so doing she will feel that she really has a stake in the family.

• A husband who wants to show his love for the wife will hold her in high esteem. In some families wives are not allowed to participate in general family meetings, they are kept by the side. This should not be so. Hold her in high esteem in the public, don’t talk her down, and don’t belittle her by the way you talk. She is a jewel of inestimable value to your life, see her so and let her know through your actions.  

Showing love to your wife should take center point in your mind as a husband and you give this a consideration because whatever you sow you will come back to reap it. Wife’s submission to the husband who has shown that he loves the wife will not be misplaced and the family will surely enjoy peace and harmony.

This article, showing love to your wife is for men. The other part, Cultivating The Love of Your Husband – 5 Certain Ways is for wives. Please read it up and let there be a renewal of joy in your home.

How to build a Successful Relationship

Life is a string of relationships. Life is fuller when one travels it with people who one loves and that love him and who care for one. But life takes on drudgery when all one gets is hostile and unloving people all around him.

To build a successful relationship one has a great part to play. Everyone has the capacity to love and be loved but issues of life and relating may get on the way. Issues of life clog relationships and make people go through bitter experiences.

But relationship does not necessarily have to be clogged with the issues; it only gets clogged to the extent the individuals allow it. Here I have prescribed way out of life clogs in relationships which if you follow will help you build a successful relationship.

Successful relationships are built over time when individuals in it decide ahead of time what they want the relationship to be. Hence having a focus in the relationship is a very vital step that you need to take to help your relationship succeed. Having such focus as an individual you also need to harmonize it with your partners focus, do the two of you have same focus? What is the other party’s perspective on issues bothering on the relationship?

True to it, different people with different ideals, perspective and so on, but if the focus is tending towards same destination there is hope for you both. But if the focus is divergent in nature it is better to have it rested than continue in it and be hoping to have your desires met and expect sudden changes which may never come to be.

Once there is a ray of hope you both only need to hone and fine tune your ideas and develop them together. You also have to work on the following:

•    Loving and Supporting

•    Developing same and relevant hobbies

•    Learning from each other

•    Sharing things in common

•    Embracing your differences and learning how to accommodate each other

When you both work on and nurture the above qualities from the beginning of the relationship you will come to know each other better than just going without much direction. This helps to build a successful relationship when the initial love at first sight thing begins to wane.

Some other things you will need to concentrate on that will ignite love, passion and care in the relationship are:

•    Balancing giving and receiving

•    Helping each other achieve success

•    Standing with the other in life endeavors

•    Meeting each other’s needs

•    Develop the oneness Spirit – “Together We’ll Go Far”

 Never leave out great communication between the two of you. Every issue should be given the necessary attention. If you sweep issues under the carpet you will end up piling grudges up and stifling love while building resentment and hatred towards each other. Don’t allow night to overtake any issue that bothers on misunderstanding without it being trashed and discussed.

Allow free flow of discussions between you and don’t criticize each other unduly. Give space for each other while discussing, take care of each other’s emotions so it is not hindered. The way you communicate will either help you either discover areas you need to work on or shut the system down for eventual breakdown. You can say something two times and get different result, it all depends on the way you put it. You need to master the art of communicating so as to build a successful relationship.

To build a successful relationship is a matter you should work on so as to have peace, joy and progress in your life as life is a string of relationships.

Humility in Marriage – A vital ingredient for Marital Success

Many think and consider humility as a vice rather than a virtue that is to be cultivated. In marriage, humility is a very vital ingredient that is necessary to sustain and build the marriage.

Humility in marriage makes you a candidate for God’s visitation, because God despises the proud but gives grace to the humble. So you get the needed ingredient to build your home, because it is not by power that a marriage is built, it is by God’s grace, therefore when there is humility there is grace.

Jesus said it pointedly that he that will be great will humble himself. Any couple that wishes to be great therefore needs to bow down the ego in humility. Humility in marriage will lift the marriage than normal marriages will be lifted.

Pride kills relationships, no matter the type of relationship. It shows from God’s abhorrence of this vice that it is something we should run from in our marriages. God detests it and so should we.

Any spouse who is proud will not see his or her shortcoming and will not accept it if it is pointed out to him or her. It takes humility to accept your fault. Marriage is a give and take relationship. If you can’t see why you should apologize to your spouse after you erred then there will be trouble in that marriage. Humility in marriage will help the spouses to see their fault and to apologize for the wrong.

It also takes humility to accept apologies. If a spouse apologize for the wrong done it only requires forgiveness for the relationship to be strong and get going again. But if the other spouse out of self will and selfishness will not accept such apologies then surely there will be problem. Therefore it is a virtue that the two people in a relationship need to cultivate and make workable.

For true reconciliation to take place there is need for true humility in the hearts of the people. Only a humble person can accommodate others in their weaknesses. It takes humility in marriage for couples to be able to reconcile and forge ahead in the marriage. It is lack of humility when someone will not accept defeat in an argument or even in a game. The lack of humility cannot be substituted, hence it leads to disastrous situations any time it is found wanting.

Any marriage where humility is on the fore will experience peace, stability and joy because the couple is teachable, quick to listen and quick to forgive, slow to judge others but right on time with looking inwardly in case they are the cause of issues, they do not shut down when criticized. They give love, unconditional love a breathing space in the marriage and allow others to take the preeminence without jeopardizing the relationship.

Consider the following quotes and see the blessing in humility:

He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good. - Confucius

The firm, the enduring, the simple, and the modest are near to virtue. - Confucius

The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. - Confucius

Humility leads to strength and not to weakness. It is the highest form of self-respect to admit mistakes 
and to make amends for them. - John (Jay) McCloy

Humility is the only true wisdom by which we prepare our minds for all the possible changes of life. - George Arliss

Modesty is the citadel of beauty. - Demades

The higher a man is in grace, the lower he will be in his own esteem. - Charles H Spurgeon

When you seek the good of the other in your marriage you will surely make your marriage to blossom and thrive.

Signs Of Problems In A Marriage

Before any marriage comes crumbling down there must have been warning signals that will have gone ahead but it is either the couple ignored the signs, pretended they never existed or did not bother to check them up and correct the issues. No marriage gets knocked out without notice. I have listed below some issues that need to be watched to avert problems in the marriage.

·        Anger Over Trivial Issues

Over time issues have clogged the heart of the couple and they are waiting to explode so every little thing annoys them and they pour their anger on each other. These issues in the beginning were nothing to them because there was much love between them then but things have deteriorated and love is gradually taking leave through the window. The couple needs to urgently arrest this situation so as to avoid clashes.

·        No More Sex

If the sex life of a couple starts dwindling and it is not due to health issues, stress, work related or physiological problems, then it is a pointer that something terrible is going on underneath. It just shows that there is a deep seated relationship issue. A partner may avoid sexual activity to show his/her animosity against the spouse. It maybe one spouse does not find the other party pleasurable or attractive and even detests having bodily contact with the person. There is need to find out what is wrong when your spouse who has been an active participant in sexual activity suddenly develops cold feet. It is a warning signal that something is wrong somewhere.

·        Communication Is Gradually Dying Off

When a couple that delights in sharing all the trivial of the day as soon as they are back from work suddenly notices that such discussions are no longer in place then they should be careful and dig deeper to find out what went wrong. Love birds are always in good talking terms. If you will realize that the way you talk to each other now is no longer the way it used to be then take precaution. When your spouse does not discuss important issues with you again it is a sign that you are no longer as relevant as before and if care is not taken a substitute may be found for you.

·        Changes In Behaviors

If the behavior of your spouse has changed and has become unpredictable as of the old times then something has gone wrong. If your spouse just started noticing their appearance and way of dressing without it been from you and they get overly concerned on it then someone is out there that is showing concern. If the phone that used to be kept anywhere in the house has now become something to be cuddled everywhere and at all times then secrets are been concealed. If browsing history is frequently deleted and cleared then watch it, your spouse may be on the way out, or at the least is seriously not interested in the relationship again.

·        Possessiveness Of Possessions

The once general property of the family has just started been classified as mine or yours then the couple is getting to be used to separation and if care is not taken to address the issue they may soon go their separate ways.

In all, many marriages end in divorce or separation not because they were bad from the beginning but because the couple refused to take heed to the signs and symptoms that their marriage is in trouble. They wait to see if the other spouse will do something about it and they end up in divorce.

In spite of the many trials of a marriage there is still solution for every of their problems. If your marriage is going through tough times then take heed and look for solution, seek help from counseling, from the many tested techniques that can safe guard your marriage. I wish you well.

Marriage Success: Ten Must Have Ingredients

Everyone wants a very successful marriage but not everyone wants to put into marriage what will make the marriage to succeed. And though many may want to do but they do not know what is required to make it a success so they start trying what they think is necessary. But there listed are my ten (10) ingredients for an aspiring couple who want a successful marriage.

1. Talk! Speak!! Communicate!!!

The worst thing to do in a relationship is to keep quite. Death awaits any marriage where “silence is the best answer” is the rule. There is no problem that communication cannot solve. Therefore you need to talk, speak up and communicate. Learn to communicate. When there is true communication all trials will cease.

2. Never allow unsettled differences

There is bound to be differences between you, but never allow such to bring separation. Don’t allow differences to remain unsettled till the next day. Face the reality and let things go by after the two of you have discussed and individuals have accepted their faults.

3. Have Focus for the marriage

Many just wobble along in relationships without any particular desire in their mind. You need to know what exactly you want from the marriage, and you need to focus on such never allowing any distraction.

4. Don’t keep the fault of your spouse at heart

Don’t allow your mind to become the store house for keeping the fault of your spouse. If there is any misunderstanding and your spouse has agreed and apologized just forgive and forget. Even when they don’t accept you can still carry on in love, and the spouse will come back to realize that he or she had been wrong all the while.

5. Keep the glow of love

As marriages grow in age many tend to forget the love they share from the beginning and so start having problems. Keep the glow of your first love alive. Go back to the memory lane and start doing all those things you did while in courtship. Take her out again, write her those love poems, and sing his favorite songs to him. Just keep love alive anyhow you can. Never outgrow love. Don’t let things, children etc get in your way.

6. Be thoughtful of your spouse

Never be self centered. Every human have degrees of selfishness in them, don’t allow yours to stand in the way of your marriage. Let your spouse take uppermost in your heart, not you, not other people.

7. Don’t let finance tear you apart

Many marriages have gone under as a result of money. Many wives have become mere things in the home, and some men cannot have a say in their own home again because the wife is the bread winner. Couples are to learn to live through financial difficulties when it comes. This should rather unite you as you both focus and fashion out ways to get your finances together again.

8. Focus on your partner's strengths

See the strength of your spouse rather than the flaws. Everyone have areas of endowment. Never neglect such areas of your spouse life, rather help develop it.

9. Revitalize your sex life

Remember how you started the marriage? Remember how enjoyable sex was to both of you? Ignite that passion again. Don’t allow time to wipe the passion away. Spice up the sex life again.

10. Say “I love you” always

Always show your love for each other by saying it over and over again. It may look simple but it matters much. What the mind continuously hears is what it will believe. That is the power of suggestion.